By Alexandra Zuur, 2nd place UBC Chapman Storytelling Award
If I could talk about just one lesson that Beauty Night Society has taught me, it would be that community exists in the most surprising places. Joy, laughter, beauty… If I had to list down all the things that I have found within this amazing community every Monday evening, I would be listing for days. The vitality of love, care and support among these women is so inspiring, and I feel so honored and humbled to be included in their community. I honestly have nothing but gratitude to express to all the amazing women I have been working with over the past few weeks. They’ve taught me to not take life too seriously, they’ve taught me the cheapest places to buy yarn in Vancouver, they’ve taught me the importance to stand up for what I believe in. But most importantly, they’ve taught me that it is the most simple acts of compassion that will ‘change the world.’
I now have 849 words left to describe my experiences of ‘helping’ these amazing women. I could very easily talk about how my perceptions of society were transformed and how I am now riddled with guilt about my privilege and how I overcame my personal prejudice to make a difference. But I will not tell those stories today. I will not continue to be part of a cycle that dehumanizes certain individuals so that we can be grateful for the enrichment that they gave to our lives. I will use the few words that I have to make a statement by telling their stories. I struggle to believe that I can actually ‘help’ these women who have daily struggles that I cannot begin to comprehend. But I can be an advocate, I can acknowledge that by receiving this university education I am in a position of privilege, and so I will not deny it; I will use it. I will use every opportunity I can to tell their stories so that we can remind ourselves that everyone is a human being before they are a victim, an addict or a ‘hooker’. I will make this story about my community.
Helena likes to take care of herself. And she does. She wears beautiful red lipstick that matches her blond hair beautifully. She likes the water for her foot massage to be really really hot, but she always reminds me that you don’t want blisters on your feet! She loves to dance, so if music comes on during a massage, be prepared to for some creative methods of massage. She loves to talk about her day, and will give you fantastic advice on anything, (especially in the topic of love!)
Pat is much more quieter than Helena and will very happily sit in silence while you give her some foot care. But she has many stories to tell. If you ask her anything about any location downtown, she will have an awesome story to tell you about. She also always seems to have a killer hand at the card game ‘Take 5’, a game that I hope to master before I graduate!
Carol has a magical smile. She has two sons and one daughter, who she worries a lot about. She hopes that they will have happy lives. Carol is also deaf, but it is amazing how much can be communicated through smiles and laughter. She always compliments me on my colorful skirts.
Annie is 8 months pregnant with her 8th child. Her hair is blond and it curls with as much energy as her constant laughter. Her eyes are filled with love when she describes her family and some of the struggles they have had. Like all mothers, she worries about the future that her children will have, and hopes that she will be able to support them.
These women are women first and foremost. They also have stories about being addicted to crack cocaine, about being homeless in Vancouver, about being in vicious cycles of abuse, but those are their stories and are not mine to tell. I am simply telling you that they are beautiful women, and society needs to also recognize this fact. At Beauty Night Society they are recognized for being women. They have the opportunity to get pampered, to chat, to dance, to laugh just like all women love to do.
Ultimately volunteering with Beauty Night Society has taught me that if we really want to believe in making a difference, we have to remember the basics. We have to remember that we are all human beings that deserve to be treated with respect and compassion. The moment we start to view the people we are trying to help as any identity other than a human being, we are no longer able to help them.
